Silent Musings
by Abducted Dib
Summary: Dib's made a huge mistake, one that he cant correct. (PG for Dib/Zim hints and one-sided Torque/Dib hints) (READ Author's note please)


PPlease ignore the coding, its messed up and wont go away.. but if i take it out the structore is bad.... just ignore it, it means nothing.  
  
PDisclaimer: I don't own the song, its from Our Lady Peace, Invader Zim is Jhonen Vasquez's, and 101X is a real radio station and I didn't make it up….. I only own the story.  
PBIUAuthors note: MUST READ/B/I/UI wanted to let you know that this isnt a normal songfic… the lyrics arent the little lines between the paragraphs. The lyrics are at the bottom of the fic. The little lines BARE/B part of the story, so read them too!! This fic is best if you listen to 'Somewhere Out There' by Our Lady Peace.  
HR  
  
PDib laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling with thoughtful eyes and he pondered the events of the day to himself in silence….  
  
PWhat went wrong?BR  
Why did it have to happen this way?  
  
PDib rolled onto his side, closing his eyes tightly and watching all prior happenings with his mind… he remembered that everything was normal until lunch time. He had been cornered by Torque Smackey, a jock that he knew from elementary skool… he was forced to go to lunch with Torqu in fears of being beaten if he refused. Zim had overheard their conversation and gave into Keef's anxious attempts at getting him to goto lunch with him. The destination? Sonic Drive-thru.  
  
PIt should have been different…BR  
I'm such an idiot…  
  
PWhen both parties reached the designated parking places, Dib and Zim exchanged casual glared, waves, and smirks…. Dib hadn't really wanted to go with Torque, but he made the exception because he knew about Torque's temper.. The conversation was bad as well, Torque wasn't interested in anything that he had to say… And Torque would just hit him if he started talking about the things he wanted to… so he mindlessly listened to Torque rant about sex, drugs, and sports….  
  
PWhy couldn't I have just said no…BR  
Why did I give in?  
  
PAfter Dib ordered for Torque and himself, they sat in an awkward silence… at least it was awkward for Dib. He kept glancing over towards the other car, Zim looked annoyed and Keef was babbling on and on about something.. most-likely his obsession with Zim.   
  
PI'm so sick…BR  
I just want to get away from it all.  
  
PThat's when it happened.. the one crucial mistake of his life… the mistake that costed him all hopes of being happy, and all hopes of living out his dreams…. He agreed, in his own fears, when Torque asked him out. He was so afraid of being harassed and beaten that he didn't even realize that the one thing that he wanted was sitting in the car next to his. He hated Torque… but now because of his own stupidity, he was stuck being with the pee-brained moron…. And he lost the one thing that he really wanted.  
  
PI just can't take it anymore….BR  
Dib reaches over to his side and turns on a small stereo system.. the silence bugging him… he doesn't want to have to hear his own thoughts… he doesn't want to have to live with his own regrets like this, so he listens to the music playing on 101 X.** He closes his eyes and waits for songs to change.  
  
PZim saw everything, and he knew it. Zim saw the way Torque just grabbed him up and kissed him right there…. But he didn't see the look of pure horror painted over his face. Dib knew that Zim was angry.. but he couldn't point his finger at why… he hadn't realized it then…. Dib had to chase Zim down after lunch and try to talk to him, but that failed miserably. Zim left harshly… crying… but angry and not admitting it, but he could tell. Zim told him that he was going home, and that's when he decided to see him after school, to make sure that he was alright…. He needed some advice.  
  
PGreat…. Why does this song have to come on…?BR  
On the radio plays a familiar tune… one of Dib's favorite songs nonetheless…. 'Somewhere Out There' by Our Lady Peace….. he closes his eyes more tightly and tries to listen to the song and ignore the lyrics…. Even though they touch his nerves in all the wrong places….BR  
(Blyrics @ bottom of fic/B)  
  
PWhen he went to see Zim's house just after skool… what he saw shocked him. Zim's small house was gone, leaving the holes in his neighbor's homes bare and hollow… Zim was outside, talking to Gir. Lucky for Dib, torque had football practice and he could talk to Zim…. But Zim had already made up his mind and there was no stopping him. He said he was ordered back to Irk….. even though there was a dark tint around his words…. And he glared at him even more coldly than normal as they stood and talked. Dib finally managed to exchange email addresses…. And he said his goodbyes. Zim let him keep Gir…. Though he didn't know if it was to give him a present or to get rid of the malfunctioning robot….  
  
PAnd now you're gone…BR  
And I'm all alone…  
  
PDib had walked home after that… totally shocked at what happened. He had finally driven the Irken away… Earth was safe, but at what cost? His own safety? Torque…. He never really trusted the jock… and now he was stuck in a relationship that he didn't want. Zim was gone, and he had no one to protect him…. Zim… over the years had changed, at least in his obsessive eyes. Zim seemed a lot more settled down, well until today… and he was actually enjoying his time on Earth, or so he thought. He knew that it wasn't the Tallests request that brought him back.. he had learned a year ago that he was banished… he knew it was something that was triggered by him and Torque that pushed Zim so far away…. He admitted to Zim that he didn't want to be with torque.. that he wanted… someone else…. But it was too late, and the transporter was already on to Zim's ship. All was lost.  
  
PDib opens his eyes and closes them again to get the stinging sensation of tears out of them…. He nuzzles against his pillow… and tries his best to fall asleep.. to stop seeing the pictures in his head… perhaps it will get easier as time goes by…. Hopefully…BR  
I hope you're having fun now…BR  
I know my life's down the drain.  
HR  
IPLast time I talked to you,BR  
you were lonely and out of place.BR  
You were looking down on me,BR  
lost out in space.  
  
PLaid underneath the stars,BR  
strung out and feeling brave.BR  
Watch the riddles glow,BR  
watch them float away.  
  
PDown here in the atmosphere,BR  
garbage and city lights,BR  
you gotta save your tired soul,BR  
you gotta save our lives.  
  
PTurn on the radio,BR  
to find you on satellite,BR  
I'm waiting for the sky to fall,BR  
I'm waiting for a sign.  
  
PAll we are is all so far.  
  
PYou're falling back to me,BR  
the star that I can't see.BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling out of reach,BR  
defying gravity,BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PHope you remember me,BR  
when you're homesick and need a change.BR  
I miss your purple hair(stupid glare? XD),BR   
I miss the way you taste.  
  
PI know you'll come back someday,BR  
on a bed of nails awake.BR  
I'm praying that you don't burn out,BR  
or fade away.   
  
PAll we are is all so far  
  
PYou're falling back to me,BR  
the star that I can't see.BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling out of reach,BR  
defying gravity,BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling back to me,BR  
the star that I can't see.BR  
I know you're out there, oh.BR  
You're falling out of reach,BR  
defying gravity....  
  
PI know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling back to me,BR  
the star that I can't see.BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling out of reach,BR  
defying gravity,BR  
I know you're out there,BR  
somewhere out there.  
  
PYou're falling back to me.  
  
PWell I know,BR  
I know.  
  
PYou're falling out of reach.  
  
PI know.../I  
HR  
P** alternative rock station in austin texas, I am not taking credit! 


End file.
